Testing the Limits

I was delighted recently when my eldest son came home from school telling me that he had been learning about growth and fixed mindsets. Mostly, I was just ecstatic to hear anything about his day. The majority of the time I am greeted with monosyllabic one word descriptions but this time was different. He said that he’d heard us, his parents, discussing this subject and he wanted to know what we thought his mindset was. We both turned the question to him and he immediatly replied ‘growth mindset’… phew!

I have become a little obssessed with the idea of mindset recently, as I have been struggling with the many balls I’m constantly juggling. I have been wondering if I really do have a growth mindset, or, if actually I’m a creature of habit and quite set in my ways. Is this a bad thing? Of course, we’d all like to think that we are capable of evolving, moving with the times, embracing new things as we accept lifes challenges. However, I definielty think I have some room for improvement in this area! In truth, I actually find it deeply uncomfortable when I’m challenged or confronted about a thought I’ve spent years cultivating. I am, after all, a capable adult human being who has spent years figuring out how to exist, how to contribute to society and how to make a difference in the world. The question is, do I have that extra grit and humility to accept the possibility that I really don’t have it all figured out just yet.

I wish sometimes that I could stop time, rise above and look down at my life and see where I could tweak things to make myself more efficient. Alas, I can’t, but I do wonder if the best place to begin is to own my mistakes, admit where I got things wrong and accept that I definitely could do better. I don’t say this to be negative but see this as an opportunity for growth, which will start by feeling a little uncomfortable, unnerving and perhaps, even a little painful. There are many areas in my life that I know I could be doing better; practice my violin better, do more exercise, be more present, work more efficiently and spend more time with the people I love and who are important to me. These are just a few! 

I now realise, there are no thunder bolts or light bulb moments in discovering how to achieve the impossible, only self-accountability in the small steps we take every day to get the job done. When it comes to my violin, my craft, my God-given gift to being on this planet, I take it for granted that I have a lifetime of experience to draw on. The ten-thousand hours have long since passed! The player I am today is the culmination of years of daily habits, aquired to be able to play the notes with ease. Honestly, even this I know I can do better. When time is short and I have so much to get through in the practice room, I rush to learn every note. Instead I know I should carefully nurture smaller sections, apply more precision in the clear lines, care more for the intonation, take time to understand the harmony and character of each passage, tease out the right color, ask how I want each phrase to be shaped and what emotion this music evokes. The list is endless!

Just a little, every day, is the key. A little more mindfulness in everything I do. Opening my computer with intention. Picking up my phone and knowing why. Engaging with my children with an open and patient heart. Being more present for my friends and loved ones, just listening to them without quick responses. Prioritising the hardest tasks first while my energy tanks are full. Get more sleep, eat better, convene with nature at least once a day and if all this fails, there is always tomorrow, to gently remind myself that all the best things in life are worth the struggle!